New Work to be Done

So.....I have been reading and hearing about all of the 'local food' movements and really tossing around the idea of getting my own farmers market stand to sell some of my extras (mainly eggs). It is really reasonating with me. It is partly easy b/c LA is a freaking mecca of local food. REALLY. I thought of so many items that I can get local within LA that most people cannot. Beer, Wine, Dairy, Meat, Sugar products, veg's, citrus, various oils (pecan oil in particular), nuts, not coffee beans but we do import, process, and package many brands of coffee (and thank God, CC's) in Nola and BR.

Dont get me wrong I love the Whole Foods movement, and I love the idea of eating organic. BUT really, how 'organic' is it to have 'organic' cauliflower shipped to you from CA to LA in January. Seriously. This is a HUGE issue.

I am currently reading "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Kingsolver. It is so great. We are definitely going to pursue keeping our own shoats, and I am certainly putting up a broiler or 'Cornish Cross' pen in the spring. I am getting more chicks. The chicks are more about selling the eggs than anything. The 25 hens or however many I have are more than enough to provide my 2-3 dozens a week.

So, I wish I could be like the Planet Earth people and just straight up give up my non-local food. Me, not so much. I am going to gradually remove (via eating) my non-local food and replace with a much better awareness of local product. I am going to have to start with the milk in Hammond (via AL Coop) and making myself a regular visitor of the Farmers Markets. Reality is though, I have no intention of goingto the market every Saturday. I am going to have to be able to go to the farmers and get my stuff.

Even more so, I am going to have to improve my ability to produce my own stuff. Tonight with my conventional dinner, I had a green salad with my own red lettuce and bunching onions (with olive oil and balsamic) and green beans from my garden.

Some of my notes:

--Make and freeze/dry homemade pasta in bulk
--Freeze homemade soup rather than buying cans
--Freeze my own chicken stock rather than buying
--No more canned food
--No more trans fat
--No more HFCS
--NO more soda (Good bye Diet Coke)
--Stockup and preserve in-season foods (like blueberries or apples while in IN)

Foods I can get grown in LA:
--Rice
--Sugar
--I am going to have to check on the beer/wine (where does Abita get it's hops, etc)
--Pecans
--Steens
--Meat
--Dairy
--Veg
--Fruit
--What about salt-we have a salt dome.
--Local bread from Clinton
--Grits
--SEAFOOD
--Cheese

Foods I grow/produce:
--Eggs
--Veg (Lots)
--Potatoes (spring)
--Limited Fruit (blueberries, pears); This I need to improve. I have to think about what would be best. Blueberries are easy but very locally available as are strawberries and citrus....I do still want to add citrus. I think I will work toward peaches (which do great in Ruston) and plums.???
--Jelly
--Pickles
--Herbs
--Dried/Canned Tomatoes
--Peppers
--Chickens/Pigs; We will be added piglets hopefully by Christmas. I will buy the broilers for around first of Feb or so. They will be ready to butcher around end of March before it gets too hot. I plan to get five piglets. A breeding trio, one for 'roasting party', and one for putting up. Maybe 8-9, that way we could put up two and share a couple. Once we butcher the animals we can vac pack and freeze for future use. Homemade sausage and maybe even Pancetta is on the drawing board. A smoke house may be needed.
--I already get my beef once a year from Deddy. Local, Grass fed, corn finished beef. It is amazing.

Foods I will be looking for:
--Oils
--Flour
--Vinegars
--Supplemental fruit and veg
--Salt
--I will add more to this list. I feel so empowered and ready, but know that I will have so many issues. What about baking powder/soda, etc. SO many items to come.

I have to say that the resolve of my faith in this movement is because of my faith in God and that He would not want us to live on this earth without regard for how our food consumption is affecting not just our own waistlines, but the health of the earth. I need to have more respect for my own body and respect for the world we live in. I have said about organic gardening.....I garden the way God would. I need to start living that more. Maybe it will make up for the Nursery Select I use on my ornamentals.

Been a long long time....

Okay, so the summer heat is officially gone. The weeds have been tamed in...well, some of the garden. The rains almost washed us away last month, but onions/shallots/garlic and winter peas have been planted now.

Hurricane season was so close to being over. Louisiana has never took a direct hit from a storm in the month of December. Because of this, Jarred and I waited until November to put up the greenhouse desperately needed to shelter the tropicals propogated this summer. First average frost comes sometime between Nov 15 and Dec 1. We are on a climaline. As as aside, I have yet to invest in a high tech weather station out here to really see what my microclimate is up to. It seems as if we do get cooler than in town. Anyway, I felt like we were being so smart to time the build in the first week of December. I think that as soon as the last bit of plastic was attached to the green house, Ida popped up in the Lower Caribbean. Odds are that we will just get lots of rain (as if I need that) and 'dundahduh' HIGH WINDS.

The end plastic isn't attached so great, so I figure if the winds get bad I will just open the front door and pull down the back. I hope it doesnt take off like a plane.....Yeah, I took physics. I did not get a D+ in that like I did Organic Chem, so there. Thank you Dr. Brown.

New Direction

So in the past, I have used this blog as a way of communicating with our extended loved ones the daily happens within our little famly. Those of you who have spent any time with us probably realize that there are a LOT of happenings here between Lucie and Lila.......and us grownups.

I am going to change my 'blogging' directions and focus more on the development of our farm and increase self-sufficiency as well as the constant juxtopostion of capitalistic business entre'manures' and country practicality with a rant for green living.

Jarred and I have spoke of this at length. The business owner who wants limited government involvement and the country farmer who wants little 'charity' or participation in 'the system'. Maybe there is very little difference. While we are slaves to our business, our master is ourselves. While we are responsible for the defeats, we also are the ones who get to take the victory lap. Our little seasonal farm (more about this terminology later) will be an opportunity for us to relearn how life can, and we may argue should, be lived. A life that is centered around production and creation and enjoyment rather than consumption and disposal and anxiety. The desicions are not always easy or pretty. Often they are strange and a curiosity. However, perhaps this adventure into the self-sufficient living, that was the ground works for America, will provide us a sense of security and self-esteem that can not be bought at a store or obtained from reading others life stories. My little seasonal farm will be small, but the work will be real and I suspect will bring me closer to an understanding of not where the world stands, but a real knowledge of where I stand.

Already I have learned new things, but also learned that I have skills of which I was not aware. I think it takes some confidence to move away from 'normal' urban life and set up a fresh existence that is more interested when it will rain again than it is in getting the newest LV. My thoughts daydream to figuring out my new chicken coop vs. a new store in the mall. I look through seed catalouges and picture myself in the hot sun killing catapillars rather than tailgaiting at Tiger Stadium (but listening to it on the radio in the nice screened in porch--maybe we will get done sometime.)

Life as I have come to know it.......

Major accomplishments ( I am going to focus on those b/c i am too hungry to type long enough to list all the failures-BUT I am going to flip it mentally to "I must be a master at this business/mom/wife/self thing b/c otherwise I would be even more TOTALLY SCREWED right now). I have dried 4 loads of clothes on my clothsline this week and made 2.5 GALLONS (yes) of strawberry jam.

I have mananged to hold together the financial budget of my company with NO (actually less than none) money this week. Please God let Monday get here fast.


Lucie is driving me crazy and talking back like an 8th grader. Post-Mommaw syndrome. Lila still loves me but barely b/c she has riden in the car for ages everyday this week.

So we are off to lunch, bank, and then hopefully the playground. Then home which is filled with MOUNTAINS of boxes, etc.

Crazy this week. Lovin' Life right now in all of its chaos.

Work and Zoo

I pulled off the......okay, the day isnot over yet, so maybe I should beware.....anyway.....perfect working mom day. We worked, went to the zoo, and are now working some more (with this small break).

The zoo was awesome. We met L and her boys there. The boys are almost the same ages as LuLa so that is really fun and easy. We are very similar. Live in the country, enjoy outdoors/homesteading stuff, try to be as green momma as possible while still getting our kids ice cream at sonic (oh the insanity).

I ran my phone battery down by 10:30 talking with clients. Had a great convo with one of my vendors who raised up two girls while doing her nursery/landscaping thing. It is so nice to discuss tha twith someone who GETS IT. So many people are so rightious about how they were perfect moms and always held it all together. I am so over the Barbie Mom syndrome.

Lila and Lucie have been so great and I am so blessed to have their love in my life. I know it is weird and "walton-like" for us all to be so attached. To me, there is no better feeling than slipping into my bed at night listening to everyone in my family peacefully sleeping within arms reach.

I have been so scattered I left my groceries at hte produce stand this am and yesterday I 'made coffee' with no coffee.

Gotta run and pick up the tiller attachment for the zahn (ditchwitch) so I can start on that after I get back from Lafayette tomorrow.

I got my beehive set up. AND we experienced our first post-storm electricity outage at the new house yesterday.

I gotta get more fencing to finish Vada and Deuce's pen, so they wont have to be crated while I am gone. Not comfortable enough yet to leave them loose while I am gone for so long.

Alot has changed.

Well, we are in the house. Officially. It is SO awesome. I saw a deer going across my drive last night as I came in. It ran across and then stopped under the pines and just looked at me looking at it. It was sort of a staring game b/t man and beast. I dont know who will win. Maybe we can just get along. All I know, if tomatoes go missing, that deer will be lunch.

I am going to scrape off the back area for the garden with the Bobcat this afternoon and rent the tiller attachment for the zahn this weekend to till in the garden. Found out the mantis is not working so may have to make rows by hand. I am so spoiled with equipment.

Jarred and Lucie have been having a blast on the bobcat digging up and throwing trees. I am so impressed with its capabilities. JP moved a BIG tree that had fallen across the entrance to the
pasture so we can get in there easily now.

I am dying to pick up some more guides to LA animals, bugs, plants.

Saying tha tI am busy with work is such an understatement. I am completely swamped and each day I am just struggling. I feel like I am living in 100mph zone all day. Just whipping from one hting to another

I have started my green living project. G-diapers for Lila.

Home

Well, we are in the final frontier. I LOVE my new house and have renewed my energy to get it done by tomorrow. SOOO we can move in this weekend. Which is wonderful b/c it is so hard going back and forth with two kids. I am TIRED and worn down from feeding a crawling baby and eating terrible food. But now we will get to play on the Bobcat, finally. We got it serviced yesterday just in time.

One of my neighbors came over today and talked to us through the kitchen window. Just stuck his head in while we were working and said, "Hi Im Doug, your neighbor over that way (while pointing out toward the SW corner of the property." He was perfectly country. A skinny guy who probably needs a beer to keep his pants up on his hips, as TTHall says. We got 'lucky' and pretty much had a rain out today, so I have three guys up there setting the counter tile and installing bath tub (not much left to do except connect pipe--got the sink in last night, but RM put in the faucets backwards, made us all laugh). Jarreds going to rewire the stove and install the kitchen light fixture.

The storm that went through last night was very scary for me. It seemed so loud in the house b/c of the tin roof. Apparently there were upwards of 70mph winds, so it was just really windy/raining too. But no leaks believe it or not. Tin roof might be rusted, but Great Stuff foam sealer is awesome. I might take stock in that stuff. Lightening was flashing all around. I was by myself with the girls. Jarred had already scared me by making me take the 'dirty harry' gun , a 44 mag. "It could blow a man's head off" or whatever the movie says. Jarred (jokingly, I promise) says its safe around the girls b/c they arent strong enough to pull the trigger.

on the road again

the whole get enough food/drink to last the next 24-48 hours thing is getting really really really really really old. Lu is hungry about every 26 minutes for something 'special'. I cannot wait for this house to be finished. I am going to stay the night with the kiddos b/c we are going up there to work this evening on the cabinets and I have to be there at 8am for DirectTv person, soooooo.....I have to be able to feed myself and Lu (lila is still easy) until tomorrow afternoon with no running water (thank goodness the toilet works). It is like living opposite post-hurricane, electricity (in rooms with lights which actually is only the BR and LR now that I think about it) and toilet but NO sinks and NO tub. Stinky girls.

This last little haul of finishing bathroom and kitchen is being difficult bc we are so busy with work. I am working at least 7-8 hours/day and Jarred is working 14+. The whole lawsuit thing took awhile to deal with this am, which thankfully I dont have to deal with anymore. I spent 2 hours at the nursery gettting plants and loading them. Another hour at the jobsite waitin gfor the Bobcat to finish getting serviced so the B&Bs could get unloaded. Another day in the life of small business america.

Ironic thing is that we got invited to dinner with the Hunter Irrigation Product rep b/c (drum roll please) we were the #1 buyer of Hunter products in Metro BR Area. Also, got our first check returned by our best client (they are suffering from lack of bank financing-only getting $200k a month to run a $100mil/yr company.)

Hard times. But we were all standing around the job laughing about the NSF check joking that in 10 years, hopefully we will all be standing around (alot richer or at least not giving/getting bounced checks) looking back laughing about how hard these times were and how thankful we were to have great people to do business with and the help we got from each other get through them.

today

Okay, so today started out basically a bummer. I have been overwhelmed completely by my Lucie. She is so willful and DEFIANT. She has big ideas and a big 2 yo body at her disposal. I finished reading Marley and Me (thanks Gma J-took me forever to get to this one), adn I cannot help but compare my dear Lucie to Marley. Big, bull like (she is a Taurus), loud, unapoligetically into EVERYTHING, and messy, but also loyal, loving, and protective. I just keep reminding myself to sing: "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." I feel so pressured for her to be sweet kind and complacent ALL the time. I think I have been trying to break her down the past couple of weeks and have been broken myself. So, now that I have regrouped, I figure " Hey, if you cant beat her I had better join her, b/c at this rate she is going to rule the world. "

BTW: this am Lu put dish soap in her shoes b/c her feet were dirty. It was sort of a turning point that if she will put dish soap in her SHOES for a reason, there really is no stopping and no level of security that can be done around her to protect herself and us from her.

My point is that since she was a baby she was in charge of her zone. She knew what she wanted and would wiggle/squirm/yell until she figured it out or broke me down. I guess like Marley's parents I am the unable to be 'alpha' mom. I

I know that I cannot quit trying to mold her. I just have to figure out how to help her to use her powers for good.

Headed up the Highway....

The ATT guy is coming this am to set up the phone/directtv. YEAH! Maybe I will be able to have actual phone conversations with people at the house. My cell phone was "going to work no problem". Yeah right. Even Jarred's phone is spotting and dropping calls. Funny thing is, my internet on the blackberry works fine.

So, we got some cabinets in yesterday, the hardest ones. The bathroom vanity is in and just having problems with ONE connection. We are gettting closer. M3 is busy with the other grandbaby this week, so we will be on our own trying to get moved up there and wrangle both kiddos. Thank goodness MKC is still here to help b/c she will be leaving next Fri to go to Seattle for a week and a half.

Another fruit tree started flowering out yesterday. Yes, I am on a daily vigil around my property, esp. the fruit/nut bearing trees inspecting them for any sign of change. I have no idea yet what type of fruits they are (nuts are pecans) so I am anxiously awaiting the first little fruits to set.

House Update

The floors are DONE! Just waiting for them to dry. We had to go in and out of the house via the bathroom window yesterday. FUN! Nothing more crazy than Jarred yelling at Lucie to "get back in the window and go to sleep!". We were so pooped. Thanks to a rare event of good planning I had dragged teh mattresses from the tent back into the bedroom. Unfortunately, I did not mop up the grout dust. So, I had to do that while Lu/Li played around getting dirty. Oh well. Jarred was able to get the toilet working by the time I went to bed. He did not get tehre until almost 8. He also got the connections to the tub fixed (they broke off when pulling the tub out) so we could turn the water back on to the house. We have a working toilet and hose bibs again. I saw ANOTHER cat out in the yard this am. So many strays, guess my three wont make a difference. As a plus, I haven't heard my neighbor blasting his music at all since that Sat night two weeks ago. Jarred figures he ran out of meth. I hope he is sort of normal. Maybe Jarreds chat with our neighbors across the road helped. They seemed very nice Jarred said. Even offered to let us stay with them instead of the tent. Adios tent though, my floors are done.

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LONGGGGG Time

Okay, so it has been a long time but with the new house coming along and the move eminent, I really want to start journaling the experience, again. So, here it goes......

Yesterday, Lila and I took two crew amigos up to the house. They finished the grout on the tile and started sanding the floors, but the nails were chewing it up. SO, restart today. I had the WC auditor come. Believe it or not, completely painless. They'll get me eventually, they always do. So, I was going to go pick up the guys from the house this pm (JA, my supervisor, took them up there this am). BUT JA is coming back from St. Fran anyway, so he is going to swing by (30mins) and pick them up. Jarred can take over, it is really hard. We are SO blessed with the amigos from NC coming when they did. What excellent timing.

This afternoon I am resting, working around the house (slowly but surely) and formulating a plan for the weekend. The ultimate goal is to 'move in' on Sunday. Hopefully, between GG's little 14 ftr and our 18ftr we can get most all the big (need man power) items up to the new house and MC and I can get the rest later in the week. Also, hopefully we will have running water back at the house and SHOULD have toilets/tubs/sink back up by tomorrow. ALL that is left for this Phase #1 of #46 (haha) is fix toilet and bathtub connections, finish sanding, staining, polying the hardwood, paint and install cabinets (BY Sunday at NOON). NO PROBLEM, lol!

stuffy noses

okay, so we have colds. I do. Lucie has a stuffy nose but it could be because she stuck modeling clay up there. what a five minutes of motherhood that was.....good heavens.

My babies at the nursery.....

Okay, so you are probably thinking I mean my two babies, as in Li and Lu. But, I am not talking about them at all. I am talking about my 450 new babies over at the shop. They just keep growing and growing and dividing and dividing. I think I might be considered a farmer now. Lord knows my pocket money depends on the weather already. I figure that alone probably half qualifies me as a farmer. Hoosier Growers!

Why? Why? How Come? You know What? Hey Momma!

I am starting to lose my mind, but I guess I dont qualify for insane, b/c I feel bad about it. Lucie is driving me crazy with CONSTANT chatter. Questions, why?, how come?, basic hey momma!, songs (but not the actual full song. it is more like a mix version of 3 songs all jumbled together), animal noises (kitty cat purring is the most prevalent and therefore most annoying). It is really starting to take a toll on me. I actually told her this morning "I will let you know when it is okay to say 'why?' again." She answered with "Hey momma, do you know what?". I feel bad that I dont want to talk to her ALL the time. But really, who can talk with her ALL day, especially when most of the talk is the SAME (i mean exactly) the same phrase she just said 4 times. Over and over and over. If you took all of what she says ALL day and removed the repeated phrases, you would be left with like 15 minutes of unique dialogue. It is HIGHLY amusing converstation for at least 2-3 hours, but gosh darn, by like 3pm I am over it. Add in her 'monkey' like physical movements and 'drama', I am in way over my head. HELP!

OMG...

Lucie learned a lesson yesterday. Do NOT poop on the playground. I had to take rescue remedy AND drink two glasses of wine to recover from this adventure in motherhood.

Modern Momma meets AP?

I worked out of the home, 40 hour week, commuting 1 hour both ways with Lucie until she was about 8m old. It was really hard. I never adjusted to daycare. She honestly, did not seem to care so much, but I knew it could be better for us both. I missed her terribly. I made the best of it. I nursed her right before I dropped her off, came back at lunch to nurse, fed her right when I picked her up. On good days, she would have maybe one bottle at daycare. On bad days, I would have a 14 hour work day and my husband would have to come get her and it was brutal. I do feel like I practiced AP (Attachment Parenting), maybe not to the nth degree, but I know I did to a great extent. I nursed cont/ex until she was 6m. she did not really even start food until 10 months. I pumped at work. I practiced bedsharing and babywearing. I also finished my masters that first year and became a Bradley teacher. Nursing made it so much easier to keep up my very active 'personal' life and take Lucie everywhere with me. She went to many a thesis meeting at LSU.

I have a very goal orientated personality and am very type A, I guess. I have alot of dreams and aspirations adn I sort of feel like my kids are coming along with me as much as I am present to be with them on their journeys. For me personally, the road sort of goes both ways. I want them to be able to learn from watching me handle all the facets of my life. I do think that it is a constant battle to work and parent with grace and kindness. but I think that is what AP is all about. It is an ideal that was never meant to be absolute but a goal that we each strive for everyday, to do better than we did yesterday. To be more than the physical need meeter, but the parent who is engaged emotionally with their child. I think that being a parent who acknowledges to their child that today was crummy, and I am going to try to do better tomorrow is practicing AP, the hardest form of it in my opinion. I dont think you have to be with your child 24/7 to be an engaged and loving parent.
I did find that traditional daycare was so hard and I hated feeling like I saw my kid for 1 hour a day. I started my business with my husband as a way to provide an income for ourselves while spending more time with my daughter and honestly, my husband. My husband and I sort of looked at each other one day and realized, I have only seen you for like 1 hour a day for months. None of this was what I felt like my life should be like. Revolving around a time clock adn uniform that I hated, and my clientele, which I physically and emotionally was in love with, was my own life, sort of in orbit. I dont feel hard towards any mother who works full time. I am so grateful that she works so hard on both levels of life to provide not only for her own family but for mine as well. Those teachers adn firewomen and nurses etc etc etc. Without them, our world/lives would be run completely by men, haha, or I guess menopausal women...... then when would granny come if she was busy running schools etc. Anyway......does working out of the home for the 20 hours week or so that I do and working another 40 hours a week with my kids running in adn out of my office and riding with me in my truck to jobsites adn coloring with chalk on my trailer as I am waiting for trees to get loaded up set me up for failure as a mother? Probably. Do I have the occassional breakdown and crummy momma days? Absolutely. But I do try to do better the next day. I try to look at our relationships as a whole. I try to look at what I am teaching my children as a whole.

I am not going to give up on trying to have it all.

Some days I feel like I would get a 'c' grade for everything. Work, family, kids, wife, daughter, sister. Some days I suck. Some days I am a big loser at it all. I know, though, that my kids are learning from watching me falter, watching me flail, watching me start to lose my cool, watching me take care of business, watching me regroup, watching me turn around a bad situation, and usually watching me go from some type of crazy to 'hey, wanna paint?'. At my house, it is not 'together' all the time, it is a rush, it is a battle, but honestly, I enjoy the chaos. I hope that my kids are learning how to deal with the chaos of life by watching me. I hope they know that through all the chaos, at least we always have each other. While I may not be there every hour of every day, I will be there when it matters. I realize this is hard for many moms to hear who choose to stay at home. Same as it is hard for me to hear that some moms feel that being completely accessible is best.

Personally, I dont think there is a global best, certainly not in regards to working and practicing AP. Each mother gets to make her own decision about exactly how many hours a week to leave their child. At what age is each child able to be left with a caregiver. Every child is different, their needs are different. Maybe some moms are just better moms than others. Maybe some moms are just better at the 'traditional mom things' while others are better at teaching by doing/showing. Maybe moms have different weaknesses and strengths. Maybe we should stop worrying about what our moms did to us (or worry about what we will negatively 'do' to our children) and start thinking about all they did to help us, teach us.

Being a mom is a tough job, being a mom and still trying to be yourself is even harder.