today

Okay, so today started out basically a bummer. I have been overwhelmed completely by my Lucie. She is so willful and DEFIANT. She has big ideas and a big 2 yo body at her disposal. I finished reading Marley and Me (thanks Gma J-took me forever to get to this one), adn I cannot help but compare my dear Lucie to Marley. Big, bull like (she is a Taurus), loud, unapoligetically into EVERYTHING, and messy, but also loyal, loving, and protective. I just keep reminding myself to sing: "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." I feel so pressured for her to be sweet kind and complacent ALL the time. I think I have been trying to break her down the past couple of weeks and have been broken myself. So, now that I have regrouped, I figure " Hey, if you cant beat her I had better join her, b/c at this rate she is going to rule the world. "

BTW: this am Lu put dish soap in her shoes b/c her feet were dirty. It was sort of a turning point that if she will put dish soap in her SHOES for a reason, there really is no stopping and no level of security that can be done around her to protect herself and us from her.

My point is that since she was a baby she was in charge of her zone. She knew what she wanted and would wiggle/squirm/yell until she figured it out or broke me down. I guess like Marley's parents I am the unable to be 'alpha' mom. I

I know that I cannot quit trying to mold her. I just have to figure out how to help her to use her powers for good.